What's Wrong With This?

99% of sexy female costumes based upon anything under the sun are cool as hell. Why? Because sexy female costumes are, well, sexy. This one based upon a certain adolescent cartoon character just isn’t. It does kinda reminds me of Zombie Strippers, or what I imagine Zombie Strippers would look like.

I'm In the Black

To whoever actually bought something from amazon using my links, thank you. I made 88 cents. Keep up the good work by clicking on my amazon links and buying crap. Maybe one day it will be enough for amazon to write me a check.

How To Be Lucky: Just Relax and Smell the Roses

Richard Wiseman did an experiment where he asked self-described lucky and unlucky people to read a newspaper and count the photographs. He secretly put a half page ad into the middle with big letters (more than 2” high) saying “tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50.”

Not surprisingly, the lucky people tended to see it while the unlucky people missed it.

According to Wiseman, “Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.”

In other words, just relax. And I think I agree with this. Fortunate people seem to be flexible and seem to notice more. Meanwhile, habitually unlucky people tend to ignore notice minor things and stress out over not important issues. As I think about lucky and unlucky people in my life, I do agree that my lucky friends tend to worry much less than my unlucky friends.

Said simply, it wasn’t luck that helped me find the $20 bill on the ground, it was me noticing it on the ground.

Read this blog entry here

He also has a book: The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles on Amazon for about $10.

I Know I Don't Know You Know Me

I’ve come to the swift kick in the ass revelation that I need to stop worrying when complete strangers recognize me. Now days, not many things make me react in utter disbelief or pause to the point I don’t know what to say . . . except when someone says “you’re . . . .” or “is your last name . . . . ?” Seriously, how do all these people know who I am? Do I look like a celebrity?

I think I have decent memory so I can at least recognize people who I’ve met, but when people I’ve never met know my siblings or know where I went to school, it just makes me stop talking and start thinking “how does this person know?” That stops me from saying anything and destroys the entire interaction. I freeze up not knowing what to do. Worse is that this has been happening more and more over the past two years.

I think I just need to be comfortable with being a Z-list celebrity and not think anything of it when I walk into a bar and girls stare at me with a “I know that guy” look.

(The title is not supposed to make sense, I just thought it was a cool brain twister)

Rudolph is a Song about Social Proof

Ever notice that Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is really just a song about social proof? Get the leader of the group to like you and all the minions will follow.

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you'll go down in history!

Dirty Wall-E

If you haven't seen Wall-E you're really missing out.

I was at Toys R Us and I saw this awesome Wall-E toy. It's only two inches tall, but I had to have it. Problem was that Wall-E is supposed to be dirty, really dirty, like filthy dealing with trash for hundreds of years and never cleaned dirty. The toy though, just made him a little dirty.


Nothing a little brown, gray, and white spray paint can't fix:


Buy you're very own Wall-E here. If you want a dirty "Wall-E," you're going to have to dirty him youself.

Do Me A Favor and Make Me Some Money

Dear both my loyal readers,

Can you do me a big favor and click on my ads? Scroll to the bottom of this screen and click on those gray boxes until your mouse breaks. Then send me your broken mouse and I’ll send you back something equally as useless.

I promise to use all the money I make from ad-clicks for beer, lap dances, and bail. Also, if you buy something from one of my Amazon links, use my links; that should help me post up bail for one of ya’ll.

Thanks

Nobody From High School Recognizes Me: is that such a bad thing?

Christmas means many things: no parking at the mall, lights around random trees, that dude jingling a bell in front of half the stores in town, and most of all, punk ass classmates you vaguely remember who are in town visiting their family.

I used to get pissed when nobody remembered me. It’s not like I was the guy who didn’t do anything. Lots of people knew me so I knew it wasn’t a matter of not knowing me when I graduated. I then thought about it and realized that I grew since high school, I cut my hair, and I now dress differently. From what I’ve been told though, my face looks exactly the same . . . but Asian guys in Hawaii are about as plentiful as thongs on the beaches of Rio.

I also have a better than average memory of people in high school, so maybe I remember people better than other people remember others.

After much contemplating, I said “fuck it, let people not recognize me.” I just didn’t care. Later, I learned I could have fun with it. For one of my reunions I purposely did not wear a name tag so I could laugh as people racked their brains trying to remember me. (yeah I have a warped sense of humor).

I then realized that when someone doesn’t remember me, it allows me to start fresh. In their eyes, I’m like a person they just met instead of the nerd I was in high school. But from my perspective, I have decent idea of what the person is like, who they are, and what they’ve done. I have the knowledge-advantage of a stalker, but without being an actual stalker. Most of the time though, I just act like I don’t know anything about my old classmate because I’m afraid getting anywhere near stalker territory.

So don’t view the “hot girl” from high school not remember you as a bad thing. Think of it as a positive, a positive that she doesn't see you as the geek you used to be and that you probably look better and have matured. Then, take the opportunity to start fresh with her.

Arrrrr, Pirates

It’s no secret that BitTorrent makes a lot of information freely available to anyone with an internet connection and a little patience. It’s also no secret that a lot of pickup material is available for free off BitTorrent, material that normally costs hundreds of dollars.

What is not so known is that (so far as I know) no pickup guru has ever sued anyone for downloading his or her material for free.

I’ve also heard that the chances of getting sued from RIAA, MPAA, or anyone enforcing their copyright rights for illegally downloading or sharing files is less than winning the lottery. Yes, someone has a better chance at winning the lottery than getting caught sharing/downloading files. I’ve also tried to search for people who used BitTorrent (instead of another peer 2 peer network) and got sued, but I couldn’t find any.

With this said, if you’re going to be a pirate, don’t rely entirely on the odds. Rather, be a safer pirate and use Peer Guardian 2. Peer Guardian 2 is a program used with a torrent application. It blocks the IP addresses of RIAA, MPAA, the government, and about trazillion others who are pissed that their hard work is being spread across the internet without a dime of compensation passed to them.

Peer Guardian 2 is not perfect, but neither are pirates. Download it for free here.

And go buy the real thing, because I know a lot of starving artists.

Cajun's Advanced Body Language

A while ago, Cajun from Love Systems wrote a blog entry titled Advanced Body Language. He recommends: (1) move and speak slowly, (2) poeticize your presence, and (3) emphasize your sexuality. In other words, be more like a retard.

I’ve been trying it for the past few weeks and I think he’s right. For people suffering from “too high energy,” I think this is a big step in the right direction.

Read it here.

Shoot Like a ummmm errr . . . . you know

When I was 12, my dad's friend gave me a clear gun that shot gooey green ooze. I had to pull the red rod back, pull the trigger, and a teaspoon of green ooze shot out about 20 feet. I can't remember what it was called, but everyone in my family thought it was gross.

This modern day white ooze makes me laugh and gag at the same time. Get it on Amazon.

I <3 Juilianne Hough

I don’t watch Dancing With the Stars, I don’t like dancing, and I don’t really like stars; heck, I don’t normally go for blonde s either, but Juilianne Hough . . . oh my.


I wonder what she's looking at.

The Mostest Awesomest Flash Drive EvAr

Think Geek has the Hacked And Frayed Spy Flash Drive which is just a regular USB flash drive made to look like cut USB cord.

Pull it out, plug it into your laptop, and watch people scratch their heads wondering what you're doing.

The price of $29.99 for 2GB is a tad expensive, but where it lacks storage space, it makes up for in fun.

Buy it here.

Internet Friends: At What Point Am I A Facebook Slut?

Assuming you’re not famous, a no one should have more than 250 friends on Facebook. No longer does having lots of friends on Facebook actually mean someone has that many friends in real life.

People with 500 friends are inevitably the type who meets a friend of a friend of a friend one night and then adds him or her as friend on Facebook. Seriously people, if you saw your “new friend” out and about would you talk to him?

Not saying those people don’t actually know 500 people on Facebook, heck I probably know at least 1000, but I really have no desire to make them ALL my friends. Plus, when anyone has THAT many friends, it sure looks they spend a little too much time staring at a monitor.

Woolite Dark

Back in the day, I never washed clothes because I just wore brand new clothes all the time. Ok that never happened, but until that day comes I like to use Woolite Dark for my dark clothes.

I used to use the cheapest Costco laundry detergent I could find and it would faded my dark clothes like pouring in a cup of bleach with every load.

I eventually discovered the reason my black shirts turned grey was due to cheap detergent, not cheap clothes. So for keeping dark clothes looking new, I recommend Woolite Dark Laundry detergent. Clothes still fade slightly, but not nearly as much.

Woolite Dark: $9.99 for 66 loads at Costco.

As for washing white, just use the cheapest stuff around.

The Rain is Coming Down Like a Muthafaka!!

This is what my window looks like right now. Notice the swaying palm trees and the faint outline of the mountain.


This is what it looked like a few hours ago.

Here's a normal day.

Doppler says I'm getting wet.

Happy BIRTHday to the Female Condom

Fifteen years ago today, the FDA approved the female condom. Has anyone ever used one of these? Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in stores, opened one, seen one in use, or seen one littering a sewage-filled gutter drain.

Wikipedia to the rescue: apparently, the female condom is just a big version of the male variety . . . and more expensive. Great, I guess I’ll never use one of those.

Well, to make this post remotely useful, let me recommend buying male condoms online. First, condoms in the store are really expensive. Second, buying condoms in the store is a hassle. Third, condoms keep for like six years so mind as well buy them in bulk and save money. Fourth, let me repeat: six years, if you’re reading this and you don’t think you’ll get laid 50 times in six years, stop reading now and go to a bar and say hi to 40 girls. Just do it.

A good online shop is www.condomdepot.com. Last I check the code “best” gave me 10%, google for updated discounts. I recommend the Durex Extra Sensitive and the Crown Skinless. Order 50 of each and be safe.

Note: for the ultra cheap-asses, condoms are included in the Flex Plan so you can pay for them with pre-tax dollars. Happy fucking.

Originality Need Here

The Boston Red Sox unveiled their new road uniforms today.


Is it me, or do they look like the away uniforms of their AL East rival?

Cyron

When I first moved into my dorm freshman year, my roommate and I would get calls for a “Cyron.” I think we would get about two or three calls a day from girls (obviously black) asking “Kean eye speak to Sy-roooone?”

Sometimes we’d say “sorry you have the wrong number?” sometimes we’d say he ain’t here, but most of the time we’d just say “who?”

Invariably the girls would say “Cyron ain’t there? You know, a six-eight big black guy?”

I would respond, “Um, if a big black guy was standing in the room, I think I’d notice.”

Well, this went on for a few weeks.

My roommate was then watching the football game and lo and behold guess who was carrying the ball? “Cyroooon for the touchdown!!”

Football season ended and I soon forgot about the big black man who wasn’t standing in my room.

Around February, I was cleaning my bed and found a love letter to Cyron. It was loooong. I showed it to my roommate who refused to read it. Not knowing what to do with it, I just shoved it back under the bed for someone else to find.

A month later, I was studying in my room with the door open. A big black man with a can of ravioli in his hand walks up and asks, “hey do you have a fork?”

“Sorry man, I got chopsticks though” I say.

He looks in my room like he’s going to jack my stereo and says, “this used to be my room”

It then dawns on me, “are you Cyron?”

“Yup” he says while nodding his head.

I then ask “so what are you doing here?” By that I meant, what are you doing around the dorms if you don’t live here.

I honestly expected him to say, “I was visiting my friend who lives down the hall,” but instead he said. “I play football here.” He apparently thought I was asking him what he was doing at the university. That made me see how student-athletes see their role.

Out of nowhere he then said “I fucked a lot of bitches up in here. Lot of bitches.”

Spending Money and Getting Laid

A recent article in the current issue of Evolutionary Psychology attempted to connect higher male spending with better mating success.

The article titled “Male Financial Consumption is Associated with Higher Mating Intentions and Mating Success” sampled males ages 18-45 and found that the more money a guy spends, the more he gets laid (and the more women he wants to sleep with in the future).

The article discusses some other things and seems to conclude that spending is the modern version of peacock feathers and colors—it shows that a male is strong and fit. Problem is that today, many males are buying things on credit, so they aren’t actually “strong and fit.”

So what does this mean? Are women attracted to men who spend more money or men who display qualities of men who spend lots of money. I’m not sure.

The article did not find a similar connecting with women and spending.

I would like to point out that I think spending money doesn’t get a guy laid. The article just correlates the two. So maybe guys who have the personality of spending lots of money are the ones who try harder to get laid.

Another thing the article found was “Women who completed more years of education had fewer one time sexual partners.” I always thought that the more education a woman had, the more likely she is to have a one-night stand.

Ultimately, the article is mostly useless, but interesting.

Read it here.

What if the Super Bowl was Run BCS Style?

Since 1998, college football has determined its national champion by selecting the two best teams and pitting them against each other in a National Championship game. The problem with this process is what are the two best teams? What if there are three teams with undefeated records, how do we decided which two are the best?

Rather than discussing why the system is so screwed up, let’s see what would have happened if the NFL used this system?

Let’s say that instead of the top two teams, the NFL just selected the top AFC team to play against the top NFC team.

2007 – #1 Dallas v. #1 New England. Actual game: N.Y. defeated #1 New England.

2006 – #1 Chicago v. #1 San Diego. Actual game: Indianapolis defeated #1 Chicago.

2005 - #1 Seattle v. #1 Indianapolis. Actual game: Pittsburgh defeated #1 Seattle

2004 – #1 Philadelphia v. #1 Pittsburgh. Actual game: New England defeated #1 Philadelphia

2003 - #1 Philadelphia v. #1 New England. Actual game: #1 New England defeated Carolina

2002 - #1 Philadelphia v. #1 Oakland. Actual game: Tampa defeated #1 Oakland

2001 - #1 St Louis v. #1 Pittsburgh. Actual game: New England defeated #1 St Louis

2000 - #1 N.Y v. #1 Tennessee. Actual game: Baltimore defeated #1 N.Y.

1999 - #1 St Louis v. #1 Jacksonville. Actual game: #1 St Louis defeated Tennessee

1998 - #1 Minneapolis v. #1 Denver. Actual game: #1 Denver defeated Atlanta

(these #1 seeds are by record. Some teams rest their starters and tank their last few games when they know they’ve clinched a playoff birth. This may skew the numbers and the rankings)

What does this all mean? Well, since the BCS was enacted in 1998, a #1 seeded team (AFC or NFC) has reached the Super Bowl every year. Seven of those ten times, the #1 seed lost and three of those times the #1 won.

Let me repeat that fact about the #1 teams losing. Of the ten #1 teams that have made it to the Super Bowl, seven have lost. Additionally, seven of those loses have come in the past 8 years. Number one teams suck.

There has never been a #1 AFC v. #1 NFC Super Bowl game in the past 10 years.

In other words, if the NFL did enact a BCS style Super Bowl in 1998, the two teams playing in every single Super Bowl since then would have been different and at least 7 of those 10 games would have had different results.

Twilight

I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why Twilight is so damn popular.

Kristen Stewart is easy on the eyes, but why does this story have such a fanatical following?

Also, I really can’t see why Robert Pattinson is, in the words of the two girls sitting behind me, “OMG-super-hot.” I kinda do admire how he as a three-mile stare like the guy in Prison Break, but you girls know he’s not really a vampire, right?

I guess I can use this if I ever need to talk to a tween-ager girl.

I Watch Too Much TV? No, I Don't Read Enough Books

Watching too much TV is not the problem. The problem is not enough reading.

I looked back at the books I’ve read this year and nearly cried. I think my number is around five. Granted, one of them is the Omnivore’s Dilemma, which is a thick book, but five books in year is just pathetic.

I then thought, how much time do I spend watching TV? Well, I watch about 18 shows, and if we assume each show has 15 episodes, that’s about 225 hours a year (some shows are 30 minutes and some are 1 hour). Accounting for fast forwarding through commercials and the mindless surfing, I would estimate I watch at the very least 300 hours of TV a year.

How much time do I spend reading books? If I hit 30 hours this year, I would be very impressed (work doesn’t count).

Let’s think of this another way, I spend about $60 a month on my HD DVR with the HD stations. That’s about $720 a year on TV.

Including the six magazines I subscribe to, I spent about $150 on reading material. $150 v. $720? Sad.

So here’s what I want to do: for every TV show I watch, I want to read one book. To be massively generous, I’m going count shows and not episodes. So the entire fifth season of Lost (all 22 episodes) can be offset by one book.

Moreover, I’m going to count each magazine subscription as a book too. So 12 issues of Maxim will also count as one book.

According to this method, in 2008, I “read” eleven “books” (and I use that term loosely) and watched 18 TV shows. All I need is to read seven more books and I’m good.

I don’t think this is a lot to ask. For people who aren’t regular book readers, I think this is a reasonable goal.

For a list of book I recommend click here.

The Bandwagon Fan Test

The bandwagon test for College teams:

Step 1. Have you attended the school in question? If "yes," you are not a bandwagon fan. If "no," proceed to step 2

Step 2. Is the school in question the nearest Division 1 school to a place where you have lived? If "yes," you are not a bandwagon fan. If "no," proceed to step 3

Step 3. Do you or does a member of your immediate family derive a substantial portion of his or her income from the school in question? If "yes," you are not a bandwagon fan. If "no," proceed to step 4.

Step 4. Do you or does a member of your immediate family donate more than $500 a year or more than 40 hours a year to the school's athletic program (attending games does not count as hours nor does purchasing $500 of officially licensed products)? If "yes," you are not a bandwagon fan. If "no," you are a bandwagon fan.

I Really Like the Smell of Carbon Paper

Whenever I smell carbon paper, it reminds me of my mom’s office.

For those of you youngins, carbon paper is paper people used to put between sheets of paper so that when they press or type on the top sheet, it shows up on the second sheet. Before the days of laser printers and cheap copy machines, carbon paper was the defacto way to do things twice as fast or with half the work.

Well, when I was little, my mom’s office was swimming in carbon paper. I used to go to her office and the entire placed smelled like carbon paper. I would see people furiously working on multimillion dollar projects and I’d just be in awe, not even realizing how little stress I had in my life.

Slowly, as I grew older and as technology advanced, her office (and all offices) stopped using carbon paper.

Now, every once in a while I’ll see a sheet of carbon paper, smell it, and it will remind me of when I was little.

I think everyone has a weird scent that reminds them of their childhood, unfortunately some people haven’t found it.

Popcorn Hour Update

I finally got fed up with my Popcorn Hour A-110. Right now I’m giving it a solid “not recommended.”

First of all, when it did work, it was marvelous. It did everything it advertised.

Problem was that it only lasted a few months. These are a list of some of the problems I had:

(1) The network functions stopped working after two months. I could no longer stream files from my computer or access the internet from my A-110. My MAC address was all zeros, which I learned, is a really bad thing.

(2) I could no longer connect the A-110 to my computer and use it as an external hard drive. My computer wouldn’t recognize it for some reason. It used to work, but not anymore.

(3) My TV would often get a “no signal” from the A-110. I unplugged it and then plugged it back in and . . . . nothing. I had to unplug/plug it back in a few times for me to get a signal.

(4) My hard drive would become read-only at random times.

(5) The A-110 would randomly declare all files unreadable. I would need to restart the unit to make it play files it played just seconds ago.

So I opened a support case and the services guys really quickly responded and gave me a RMA number. I then disconnect my main board and mailed it back today. Hopefully they’ll fix it or give me a new one.

The A-110 is a great product, just not very reliable in my experience.

EDIT/UPDATE: so apparently, the electricity in my house is really dirty and full of power spikes. These spikes appeared to be the cause of my popcorn hour dying and now I've learned my lesson to ALWAYS use a surge protector. I've been using a surge protector with my fixed popcorn hour and everything seems fine. Less: always use surge protectors for expensive electronics.

How To Talk To Girls by Alec Greven

Alec Greven is only 9 years. Despite being on this planet for less than a decade, he knows more about “talking to girls” than a lot of men. So much, that we wrote a book: How To Talk To Girls.

What started as a handwritten $3 pamphlet turned into a nationwide book deal with HarperCollins Publishers.

In his book he suggests: (1) Comb your hair and don’t wear sweats (2) Control your hyperness (cut down on the sugar if you have to) and (3) Don’t act desperate.

The illustrations made me laugh so hard ice tea oozed out of my nose:
"98% of pretty girls ditch boys" HAhahahahaah!


Yet, the more pages I read, the more I realize he’s right. Take for example the above picture. He’s essentially saying wear something unique, but don’t go peacocking.

Here are also some pictures of him “in action.”


Buy the book on Amazon for $9.99. Just click: here.

Making Sense of the BCS Texas, Oklahoma, Texas Tech Mess

Half the fun of watching college football is seeing how teams can put together win-loss records so convoluted that any rational person would just say “put them all in a tournament and let the teams decide.” Yet somehow, there is no tournament so we're left saying "I hope this team wins so we'll have another BCS mess" . . . which happens quite often.

This year is no exception. We have a number of one loss and undefeated teams who all could win the national championship if given a chance. Most interesting is Texas, Oklahoma, Texas Tech. For those of you who don’t follow college football, all three of these teams have 11 wins and 1 loss. Each teams’ loss comes from one of the other two. In other words Oklahoma beat Texas Tech, Texas Tech beat Texas, and Texas beat Oklahoma.

In high school I learned about the transitive property. The transitive property pretty much says if Adam is taller than Bob and Bob is taller than Chris, Adam must be taller than Chris. But what if someone said Chris is taller than Adam. The who is the tallest? We have a paradox. And that’s how sports works.

This here is humble attempt to explain why Oklahoma is better than Texas Tech and Texas.

First of all, I didn’t watch all these games so I do not understand the nuances of each win and loss. Second, I’m not really taking into account whether each team played home or away. For the most part, I’m only looking at wins and losses. I really hate it when teams run up the score to look good for the rankings so I’m not even looking at margin of victory either.

So let’s start. Here’s the records for each team. Click on the chart for a bigger view.

The first two rows show that each team lost and won to the others. So I say those games cancel each other out (hence the strike through).

The next four rows show that each team beat Oklahoma State, Kansas, Baylor and Texas A&M. Cancel those out too.

The highlighted yellow portion shows quality wins (we’ll get back to that).

And the bottom rows show the wins over scrub schools not going to bowl games or non Division 1 schools (or whatever they call Division 2 now-a-days). Mind as well ignore those too.

Back to the highlighted portion: This is the meat of the analysis. On the left is each team’s ranking according to the Harris poll today (for the top 25 teams) and the Rivas Top 120 of last week for the other teams.

Short explanation is that Oklahoma has more quality wins than the other two. I submit that Oklahoma’s two wins over #15 TCU and #16 Cincinnati is better than Texas’ two wins over #11 Missouri and #63 Rice. Also, look at Texas Tech; their next best win is over #38 Nebraska.

Therefore, I say, eliminating the constants (aka wins over the same teams) and ignoring the wins over weak schools reveals that Oklahoma is the better of the three.

Television Is Crack for My Eyes

These are my top 17 shows. I was tempted to put the Pickup Artist on this list, but I can’t stand that show anymore so it got axed.

1. Entourage – A great season 5. This is one of those shows where you’re either watching it or you’re sick of people telling you to watch it.

2. Friday Night Lights – Season 1 was awesome, season 2 sucked, and season 3 is approaching Season 1 caliber. If you’re not one of the fifteen people in America who subscribes to DirecTV, just wait until NBC starts showing this in early 2009.

3. Weeds – another premium cable show. Mary Louise Parker is a hottie.

4. Gossip Girl – I’m totally embarrassed that I watch this, but damn this show is addicting. It reminds me of Swan’s Crossing meets something a lot less soap opera-ey.

5. Lost – I think I’m the only person in Hawaii left watching this show, oh well.

6. Battlestar Galactica – some people call this the best tv series ever. After the first part of season 4, I don’t think so. Let’s hope the second half of season 4, aka “the final season,” gets better.

7. The Boondocks – any show that has cartoon kids saying “nigga” and dancing to a rapper named Gangastalicious has got to be awesome.

8. Californication – nothing really happens in this show, except lots of people getting laid.

9. The Unit – I bet people in the army hate this show, but an entire show devoted to the elite secretive Delta Force unit of the army is like watching a video game with a plot.

10. How I Met Your Mother – Legen . . . dary

11. Burn Notice – This is one of those summer shows that could compete in the fall.

12. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – I like robots that cause destruction.

13. True Blood – vampires and other cool stuff.

14. Star Wars Clone Wars – the only thing remotely close to a weekly dose of Star Wars.

15. Skins – most people have never heard of this BBC America show. It’s the story of a bunch of high school kids in England and their drug induced parties.

16. Prison Break – Honestly, I just watch this show because I’ve seen the past how many other seasons.

17. Heroes – the most overrated show on tv. Watching this feels like I’m doing a chore of clearing out my DVR. Why do I watch this? Who knows!

18. 90210 – I’m massively embarrassed I actually watch this, but Jessica Stroup has a “not-so-dirty-Megan-Fox” thing about her.

I’ve also declared DVR Bankruptcy on Fringe and Mad Men. I hope to watch those later.

The Seduction Community Will Never Become Mainstream Because It’s Too Fricken’ Weird

Let’s face it; the seduction community truly is one step up above Dungeons & Dragons. We have our own terms, we keep score, we’re always looking for the “next book,” we have “dungeon masters” who tell us what to do, we talk about our “conquests,” and we honestly think we’re cool.

As long as people like Mystery continue making mainstream shows while using the terms set, LMR, PUA, approach, neg, kino, IOI, DLV, DHV, and routine, people are going to see “the community” as a bunch of weirdos.

When a guy first gets into The Game, he’s hesitant to tell people about it because he doesn’t want to share all the “secrets.” This lasts for about a month. He then gains a burning urge to share it with everyone. Shortly thereafter though, he realizes that the seduction community is nothing but a bunch of weird single guys with social problems who might be able to get laid but can’t get a long-term girlfriend—he becomes embarrassed to be part of it.

I think the vast majority of normal guys get into the community for a year or two, gain a basic understanding of women, and then get a girlfriend. Lots of these guys though stick around strictly for the WWE soap opera-ness of it all.

I was at a party last week and a guy used the term “social proof.” It was awkward. As I looked around, I could see that most of the guys knew the term by the look on their faces, but none of them wanted to react—kinda like when someone mentions a porn star’s name: “who’s that?”

As long as the community continues to be weird, guys will keep it underground. Since the normal guys get out and the weird guys remain, it will probably be weird for all of eternity.

Texting & Driving

Every once in a while lawmakers create dumb laws despite having good intentions. This is one of them:

A few weeks ago, Honolulu City Council member Charles Djou introduced a bill to ban texting while driving. Yes, he wants to prevent people from writing text messages on their phones while they drive.

Now, I’m not against allowing people to text while they drive, I just can’t see how the cops are going to enforce this.

Here’s what Bill 67 says:

Sec. 15-24. Electronic devices.
(a) As used in this section:

“Video games” are any of various games that may be played by use of a hand-held electronic device

“Write send or read a text-based communication” means using an electronic wireless communications device to manually communicate with any person using text-based communication, including, but not limited to, communications referred to as text messaging, instant messaging, and electronic mail.

(b) No person shall engage in the following activities while operating a motor vehicle:
1. Write, send, or read a text-based communication: or
2. Play video games.

(c) For purposes of this section, a person shall not be deemed to be writing, reading, or sending a text-based communication if the person reads, selects, or enters a telephone number or name in an electronic wireless communications device for the purpose of making or receiving a telephone call.”

SECTION 3. New ordinance material is underscored. When revising, compiling, or printing this ordinance for inclusion in the Revised Ordinances of Honolulu, the revisor of ordinances need not include the underscoring.

As you can see, it still allows a regular citizen to dial a phone number and call it.

1. How is a cop going to know someone isn’t dialing in a phone number?

2. What prevents someone from saying they were dialing in a phone number when they were really texting?

3. Will this City Ordinance apply on State roads?

4. Phoenix, Arizona has a similar law and cops there say the texting ban is essentially unenforceable because they cannot confiscate the driver’s phone to check for text messages. If the bill is amended to allow cops to confiscate phones, I predict people are going to be “flames-from-the-ears” pissed.

5. Also, what prevents someone from closing his or her phone to cancel the message?

6. Lastly, will this apply to cops and their squad car laptops?

If this passes, I predict that the not a single person will be cited and the newspaper is going to run an article saying “Texting Ban Proves Largely Unenforceable”. Most likely though, sanity will prevail and people will kill the bill.

Happy One Year Anniversary to Me

I can’t believe I’ve been rambling for an entire year.

Thanks for reading.

Zalman 5, Knuckles 0

My new video card came in today. I don't think my Zalman likes my new parts.

Because this is what it did to my hand:

Life is an Election.

Life is an election with only two candidates:
(1) You make life happen, or
(2) You let life happen.

No one forces you to cast a ballot.

Re-election occurs every few moments so if you don’t like the incumbent you can vote the other way.

If you don't choose, a choice will be made for you.

Sushi Sasabune

I’m a ballah: I buy the expensive rice, use the super soft toilet paper, and I deep fry foods with extra virgin olive oil. Damn, I’m practically “gator boots with the pimped out Gucci suit.” You know it!

So when my friends told me that Sushi Sasabune had the best sushi in Hawaii, I got a little curious. This is how they sold it:

“You sit at the bar and the mean sushi chef gives you the evil eye. You can’t order anything. Instead, you just eat whatever he puts in front of you. The chef never smiles. He tells you how to eat, what sauce to put or not put, and how to hold your chopsticks. You need to eat everything he puts in front of you. If you eat the food wrong or say “no,” he yells at you. If he says “no soy sauce” don’t even think about putting soy sauce. If he says “one bite,” the food better not touch your front teeth. If you piss him off, he’ll kick you out of the restaurant. Worse, he’ll remember your face for all of eternity so you can’t come back. The food is also really expensive, like $100 per person expensive.”

I’m sold! Where is this place?



After two years of soul searching, I finally grabbed my balls and made reservations.

“Counter or table?” asked the host.

Me: “What would you recommend.” (I knew that “counter” meant “at the mercy of the chef” and “table” meant “order off the menu”)

Host: “Have you been here before?”

Me: “No” (why am I so damn honest?)

Host: “Well let me tell you about Sushi Sasabune.” He said is smug tone. “Sushi Sasabune specializes in the best sushi. We don’t serve California rolls or spicy tuna. If you sit at the counter, you eat the chef’s menu--which varies. . . .”


Me: “Ok, give me the counter for two people at 7 pm.”

At 7 pm I walked in. I expected a small room with a few counter seats and two tables. Instead, the counter sat about a dozen people and there were tables for about another 20-30 people.

I sat down and looked the sushi chef in the eye. Yup, he’s as intimidating as the Seinfeld Soup Nazi.

I’m not going to spoil your visit by telling you want I ate. Half the experience is not knowing what’s coming out and the thrill of being at the mercy of the chef. All I’ll say is that the seafood comes from around the world is a million times better than anything else I’ve ever eaten. Sushi Sasabune serves the best sushi in Hawaii.

And sitting behind me were Charlie, Kate, and Hurley.

Sushi Sasabune
1417 S King St
Honolulu, HI 96814
(808) 947-3800

I Fried My Video Card

Apparently, computers have a little do-hickey devoted solely to processing the video signal; they call this the video card. Apparently, I somehow managed to make mine explode. Unfortunately, I wasn't around when it happened, but I guess it sounded something like the time my buddy threw a lighter in the campfire (big boooooom).

Honestly, I'm just proud of this picture.

The Poltergeist

Angry Dragon, Rusty Trombone, Donkey Punch and now . . . The Poltergeist!

I heard this a few days ago and I couldn’t stop laughing:

The Poltergeist: have doggy style sex with a girl and position her so she’s facing a window. Then pull out and have a buddy sub in for you. Obviously, make sure she doesn’t know you two just switched. Walk outside and put your face in the window. WOOOOOOO!!

(ok seriously, don’t do this cause that’s rape)

Rail Passed, People are Pissed, These are Funny

Last week's election will be remembered as a day when Honolulu really helped or fuct itself.

On the November 4, 2008 ballot was a question asking Honolulu voters whether they would like a $4-$5 billion rail.

It passed.

Apparently, people are still extremely upset with the election result. From the looks of it, one would think the apocalypse is near. Amidst the ranting someone put up some hilarious motivational signs:


And my favorite:

Britni Danielle

For some reason I have a giant crush on Britni Danielle. Read her blog here . . . wait don't click it yet. Why? Because there's a giant penis on the most recent post. You probably want to wait a day or two so you don't get cock-slammed. If you click it today, (Tuesday November 11, 2008) don't say I didn't warn you. http://britnidanielle.blogspot.com/

======

Note: Britni's blog is dead; it has been replaced with a Microsoft Windows Tips Blog. Bummer for you. I've also discovered that if you type in "Britni Danielle" into google, this page is the second link. Thanks for using google and thanks for coming to my humble little blog. Fortunate for you, I'm epic enough to post up a link to her new blog: http://britisstillshameless.blogspot.com/

You're welcome.

Popcorn Hour Update (more excuses)

I was all good and ready to post up my Popcorn Hour A-110 review when the entire thing just crashed. I had just finished transferring files to the hard drive when I plugged it into my tv and the darn thing wouldn’t start.

I had to re-flash the firmware (whatever that means) to get the box up and running again.

I think it works fine now, but I’ll need more time to revise my review.

Liquid Bandage

Liquid bandage is just about the coolest thing ever. I’m always cutting my fingers. Once I shoved the metal edge of a tongs under the nail of my middle finger and cut a deep gash. Yes, it did hurt that bad. In fact, months later, I don’t have full feeling in that fingertip.

Anyway, I hate having band-aids on my fingers. Band-aids stink when they get wet and I can’t do crap when I have stickers on my fingers. So, for minor cuts I use New Skin liquid bandage. It’s essentially medical grade crazy glue that seals up open wounds. I can wash my hands, work, and do anything as if the skin was already healed.

And no, it doesn’t sting.

Pickup Artist 2 Needs to Warm Their Boys Up (that sounds naughty)

Before the final challenge of each episode, there’s usually a few seconds of the guys riding in the bus. It shows them “practicing” in their heads on their ride to the club. Whenever I see that, it makes me want to cry.

How the heck can anyone, even the most social people, do that? Those guys need to be yelling, laughing, and getting into a social mood.

So here’s the tip of the moment: say hi to everyone you see as you walk to the club/bar/party/etc. Say hi, yell, be goofy, and do crazy things. The RSD boot camps make their students do crazy animal sounds. If you want, do that too. Then when you walk into the club, you’ll be warmed up and ready to go.

Be Your Own Model

I used to admire people and try to be like them. One of the most common models among pickup guys is High Hefner. Hefner is the king of social proof. What can be more impressive than walking into a club with an entourage of eight blonde big boobed women? For that reason alone I occasionally watched the Girls Next Door—a show about Hefner’s three girlfriends.

Well, the past few months have shown that Hefner’s three girlfriends weren’t exactly well, his girlfriends. First, Holly (GF1) broke up with Hefner and seemingly instantly started dating magician Criss Angel. Celebrities don’t instantly start dating each other, they say they’re friends for a long time and then slowly say their dating. Hmmm. Today I learned that Kendra (GF2) is engaged to a football player. Engaged? To me that means she’s been having some sort of relationship with the football player for a while. NFL football players don’t just propose to anyone. Lastly Bridget (GF3) is actually already married to someone else. The two are separated, but they’ve been married since 1997.

Point is, what I thought was an awesome situation is really just a train wreck I didn’t know about. The more I tried to model someone, the more I learned about him, and the more obvious his disastrous life became.

I went to a club and saw Bill Bellamy. I thought, this guy’s got more status than anyone else here, but yet all he did was sit in the VIP area without a single girl. Even though I’ve never considered modeling Bill Bellamy, I did think that if I became a celebrity I’d at least have an easier time meeting girls. Nope.

So the point of all this is that people have an idea of someone in their head, but that idea is rarely reality.

From now on, I’m, not going to model anyone but me. More specifically, I’m going to model the me of the future. How would the me of 2 years from now act? What would he do? Would the me of 5 years from now be scared of that? Would he take that crap?

I’m going to create the person I want to be and then he’ll be what I’m trying to become. Now that doesn’t stop me from taking attributes from other guys and modeling those small things, but I’m not going to try and become someone else—no matter how amazing his life currently looks.

Is An Elimination Reality Show The Best Format for VH1’s The Pickup Artist?

After reading Kevin Feng’s blog entry about being the second guy eliminated, I began to wonder if the VH1’s The Pickup Artist should be an episodic elimination format.

First, I was shocked he got eliminated so quickly. When I wrote that I thought the others were going to blow past him, I really thought it would take a few episodes—not two.

For those not paying attention, The Pickup Artist is a reality show where contestants are eliminated at the end of every episode based upon (essentially) performance.

So Kevin’g blog said he was nervous, “really really really really nervous.” Why? Because another guy got eliminated.

Problem is that no guy should be nervous about running game. One of the keys to success is indifference. If the guy doesn’t care whether the “set” “hooks” or not, he’ll be halfway to success. If a guy rolls with not giving a shit if he gets blown out, he probably won’t get blown out.

Other the other hand, if a show puts contestants feet to the fire and says, “if you don’t get a number, we’re giving you the ax,” how s insanely stressful is that? Lots of the guys are massively nervous walking up and talking to girls without the cameras rolling.

So what if the Pickup Artist was an 8 episode show without eliminations? What if every episode just ranked the contestants? Make the loser clean the bathroom or do something embarrassing, but don’t deny him the opportunity to learn. I think it would be funny to see the loser of each episode wear a dress for the entire next episode.

Ever since Survivor premiered in 2000, all reality competition shows seem to follow the episodic elimination format. For Survivor, that was all fine and dandy, but for a show that focuses on helping guys, maybe elimination is not the best idea.

Season 2 of that show

Season 2 of the Pickup Artist premiered Sunday. Blah blah blah.. I was going to say that I think Kevin is going to win just because he’s more advanced than the rest of the guys (he was the VHI1.com chosen one), but now I think he’s going to plateau and a few of the other guys are going to blow right past him. So the story goes, Kevin is “in the community” so that might explain a little of his initial success.

TSB Magazine had a podcast with Tara (the “wingwoman” on the Pickup Artist 2). She came out and said she was hired for the show. Yup. The first season made Tara look like she was Mystery’s good friend and that he trained her and a whole bunch of other things. It just so turns out that she didn’t even know Mystery before the show was made. She auditioned for an unknown premise show and was casted.

This leads to the inevitable question “why can’t Mystery find his own wingwoman?” Not to say I’m awesome or anything, but if I had my own show I could easily find half a dozen girls to be my wingwoman. Major incongruence. Major incongruence.

In Hawaii, the Pickup Artist 2 has new episodes at 9 am on Sunday . . . and tons of repeats for people are busy at that time.

Chinese Rice Cake

Ten fifty-four in the morning and I’m hungry as balls. I woke my ass up early for an 8:00 meeting and finally made it back to the office just so I could write my follow up e-mails.

My stomach was about to eat itself.

So the building next to mine has a little snack shop with those really awesome Chinese rice cakes; the spongy kind, not the layer ones. Well, I walk in, buy my food, and walk out—into the equator-bright sunlight.

I round the corner and SMASH my shin into the concrete bench. It hurt like a bitch. The bench was the same material as the concrete floor and in my squinty-eyeness I didn’t see it. I hobble along like someone with blood flowing down his shin and try to look like I didn’t actually leave an inch patch of skin back there.

Lo and behold a homeless man was lying down at the bus stop no less than 15 feet from where my skin was still sticking to the concrete bench. He looks at me. I look at him. He looks at me.

I say, “Look out for that corner, it’ll hack you up.” and walk by.

As I get about 40 feet away, I hear yelling in an accent best described as a combination of Indian, Filipino, and Daffy Duck; the homeless man is yelling at me.

I--being more curious than smart--walk back to him.

He starts yelling at me more in his Indian-Filipino-Daffy Duck accent, but then he pulls out some sort of French attitude.

From what I could tell, he said, “This is my bench, I can lie here, do you have a problem?”

I yell back “I give you permission to lie down on that bench!” And he gets EVEN more pissed.

Realizing that getting into a brawl with a homeless man during the 5 minutes I snuck out to get a snack wouldn’t look good on my dossier, I casually walk back. He then comes running after me.

At this point, I really want to just kick his ass. He may have 50 pound on me, but I have health, youth, and nutrition. . . . but alas I didn’t.

I wussed out, ran into my building, hit the elevator, and escaped.

I think the moral of the story is don’t talk to crazy homeless people, but I could be mistaken.

Escape Plan Not Necessary

A few days ago my office receptionist was asking me “how do you leave a date that’s going really bad?” Apparently she had been listening to the radio and the D.J.’s were discussing the same thing.

The obvious answer is to text a friend and have him/her call you back with an emergency. Or worse, climb out the bathroom window.


And then I realized, why would anyone ever put them self in that kind of situation?

Dates should be fun and spontaneous—not planned and drawn out. They should only last as long as they’re enjoyable and if the other person is lame, just end it.

How to end a date? First, don’t plan a long one. Plan something short like a trip to the mall, coffee, go to the beach, or the museum. Then if the date is going well, propose something else and be spontaneous about it.

A guy should always have a second and third location in mind. But he shouldn’t bring it up unless the date is going well. If she likes him, she’ll bounce to the next place and another and another.

For example: “I gotta get a shirt for a dinner next week, wanna come to the mall with me?” . . . “I’m getting hungry, let’s eat (somewhere not in the mall).” . . . . “I was going to check out this short film contest tonight. There going to have these pieces made by the art school and students from around the world. I heard its really good.” . . . . “My friend is DJing at the Ultra Lounge; come with me.”

Always have something planned. There’s nothing worse than a girl saying “what do you want to do?” And the guy saying “I don’t know.” Neil Strauss recommended that people read the Weekly and that was probably the best advice I’ve ever heard on what someone can do in a city. So before a “date,” read the Weekly to find out what’s going on and then if she’s cool, do stuff with her, and if she’s lame, ditch her and do stuff with someone else—and then hope you don’t see her out that night.

The Eye of Sauron at the University of Illinois

The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign is building some sort of bell tower on their south quad. Lo and behold, some very clever Lord of The Rings fans thought it was missing something:


This is the kind of shit I did in college . . . just that nobody was around to blog about it.

How To Be King Of Your School

Weeds is an awesome show.

Let The Games Begin - Trailer

I've been following this movie off and on for the past few months.

Let The Game Begin Trailer


Kinda funny how they stick pretty close to the original Mystery Method teachings. I wonder how the guy who bought the movie rights for "The Game" is feeling right now. I would still like to see Johnny Depp play Mystery; that would be bad ass.

Popcorn Hour A-110 & Some updates

I ordered my Popcorn Hour A-110. The reviews say it may be the best media streamer/player on the market. Two to four weeks from now I SHOULD get it. I'll post up a review around then.

On a totally unrelated note, I found a cool gadget (program) that sorts blogs by recent update. So on the right I still have the massive list of links and blogs, but now they're sorted by recent updates--which is why the order looks random.

The iPhone Kill-Switch

Recently, Apple CEO Steve Jobs disclosed that the new 3G iPhone has a remote kill-switch allowing Apple to remove software from its devices.

I predict that someone will, wait, no, someone HAS ALREADY figured out how to use it.

Here's something I just made: