Alpha Male Memory

Becoming the Alpha Male is not easy--especially if you’re not naturally a leader. How does someone enter a room and just own it? There is no easy answer. The Alpha Male is the leader of the group, the person in charge, and the one everyone looks to for guidance. The Alpha male monkey is the one who gets to mate with all the females, eat first, and gets all the spoils.

There’s this guy name David Hayakawa. He’s an attorney who also plans a few parties every year. Supposedly his parties are the greatest thing to ever happen to the Honolulu night scene. I went to one and it was aight.

He had a Halloween party a month ago and my friends went. I though, decided to boycott it.

Tangent moment: never say “no” if your friend calls you to go do something. The more you say “yes,” the more likely they’ll call you again, the more people you’ll meet, and the more you’ll get out of life. Yes’s grow Yes’s and No’s grow No’s.

Back to the boycott. I decided to boycott the party because David Hayakawa never remembers my name or remembers meeting me. I swear, I’ve met this guy five times and not once did he remember me. The second and third time I met him I even said, “I met you before.” I extended my olive branch out. Nothing.

I told my friends I wasn’t going and they laughed. Yeah it was stupid reason, but I’m stubborn. They made excuses like he has a bad memory or not to take it personally because he doesn’t remember most guys. As far as I was concerned, he was out alpha-ing me by saying he was so important and I’m so insignificant that he can’t even remember meeting me much less my name. What really bugged me was that he probably doesn’t even know he doing this.

When did having a bad memory become alpha?

The party came and went, my friends told me I missed out; I’m sure I would have had fun.

Realistically, I’m never going to walk up to David Hayakawa and make him remember my name or even try to make myself memorable for it. I like to think I’m above that.

The question now is how do I become/act alpha without getting the other guys to dislike me?

Last weekend I went to a party. As soon as I walked in, I saw a guy I met briefly seven months ago. I remembered his name and yell “Jake (not his real name), wasup? How you been?” He clearly did not remember my name and I just hammered past that (note, never say “I’m ______” if you’ve said someone’s name you’ve previously met; it just lowers your value such that people forgetting your name is normal. Assume, that the person remembers your name because you’re important. You know the other person’s name so assuming he remembers yours is not an insult or pretentious.) I talked to him like I was a nice and friendly person who finds it normal to see people I’ve met and remember their names. More importantly, I out alpha-ed him with “my brain is bigger than yours.” Throw in some good frame control and not an ounce of value was lost.

Jake later approached me and we talked more.

There are many ways to exhibit dominance. Acting like people are less important than you will demonstrate dominance, but it will only create short-term gain. Give people respect and they will follow you to the ends of the earth. There’s nothing more alpha than leading your people to the promise land.