Don’t Get Her Number, Get Her to Give It to You

I’ve always known that a girl’s phone number is not worth the dirty napkin it’s written on. It just took me a while to realize how willy-nilly girls give it out. I learned that lots of girls will simply not answer their phone (if they don’t recognize the number) or they won’t return messages. Not picking up is just easier than telling a guy “no.”

Just as an experiment, I did a phone number mission. Plan: run normal game, escalate, but ask for her number way before I expected she’d give it. Lo and behold my cell phone filled up quickly. Not surprisingly, my callbacks and call pickups were rather sparse.

Then, as another experiment, I tried NOT asking for a girl’s number. Instead, I waited for her to ask or for her to just give it to me.

On one Friday, with one girl, I did the playful banter, flirting, teasing, and deep rapport. We talked about all kinds of things and I learned that her office was only two blocks from mine. She told me crazy stories about her and by the end she was saying, “I can’t believe you’re single.” At the end of the night though I went home alone she still didn’t give me her number.

The next Monday, sour from my defeat, I looked up her office number and called it. I phone flirted for a while and she asked if I was free for lunch. [step one: check].

While I was walking to the restaurant, I saw her talking to some guy who hands her a piece of paper. Two seconds later I met up with her.

Me: “Hey”
Her: “That guy just gave me his number.”
Me: “I hate it when that happens; its like ‘alright I’ll take your number, but get the hell out of here.”
Her: she laughs
Me: “Yeah, but his grunge wear and rusted bike is hella pimp.”
Her: “How you do you know that doesn’t turn me on?”
Me: “You got his number, call him up; he can have lunch with us.”
Her: “Maaaaaaaaybe I will.”

While at lunch I made an instant-date (aka plan for a new activity) for that night. I told her where to go, what time, and that I’d meet her there. All without asking for her number.

That afternoon, around three, I got an e-mail:

“Thanks for coming to lunch with me. Let me give you my number: XXX-XXXX”

She knew where I worked so she must have googled my company’s name, found my profile, and found my email. (I’d like to think that’s more stalker than me just calling her office.)

At that moment I thought she going to flake on me, but I didn’t want to call her for some reason.

I set up the instant date so if she flaked she flaked--not the end of the world.

But, she showed up.

Later that night she asked, “how did you know I wasn’t going to flake?”

“I just knew you wouldn’t. And if you did, whatever, I would have come to this by myself anyway.”

After that night, nothing else really happened between us. We talked a little, but I didn’t make the effort to call her and she only called me a few times. But, no matter, because I learned some valuable lessons.

Lesson: if I feel like I should be asking her for her number, I should really be making a plan to bounce or an instant date. Plan the new date and the numbers will come. A few months later, I learned that the best way to get a girl’s number (who will pickup) is to plan something in detail and she’ll usually say “let me give you my number so we can . . .”

Eating Healthy

Stay away from the middle of the supermarket. Just don’t go there.

Wired had this thing about how the most unhealthy food is located in the center of the supermarket. Meanwhile the healthiest food—the fruits, vegetables, fresh meats, and other non-processed foods—are all along the edge of the supermarket. Let's face it, the more processed the food, the fattier it becomes and with that fat, the unhealthier it becomes.

From now on, I’m going to do my best to only walk along the outer edge of the supermarket, only buy non-processed food, and stay away from that gawd awful frozen food section in the middle.

Indifference > Confidence

RSD has this thing about indifference and confidence. I never really understood it until I read this sentence from someone who took the Superconference: “don't aim for confidence, aim to be indifferent to the outcome.”

Ping!! Light switch turns on.

People of great value do not let others affect their emotional state—especially those who have lesser value. Indifference.

Let’s imagine you’re at the Honolulu International Airport, waiting for your flight to Johannesburg, and you see Anthony Hopkins. Being such an awesome actor, you go up to him and say, “Mr. Hopkins, I think you’re one of the greatest actors to ever live.”

Now what does Anthony “The Mutha-Fuckin-Academny-Award-Winner” Hopkins say?

“Thank you.”

And you walk off thinking, damn that was awesome, I just met Anthony Hopkins—he’s a bad ass.

Now, imagine instead, Anthony Hopkins responds with, “Really? You’re kidding? Do you really think I’m one of the greatest actors to ever live?” (as his face lights up with delight) “Wow, that really makes me feel good.” (as he obviously gets progressively happier).

You’d walk away thinking, what the fuck? This guy’s a tool.

People of value respond to others with indifference. By responding to the complement with a slight “Thank you” and no other physical response, Hopkins keeps his value. He’s such a bad ass that people give him complements all the time and another one really means nothing. He just says “thank you” because that’s the polite thing to do.

Now imagine you’re talking to girl.

Yeah, this one. She gives you hella IOI’s (indicators of interest), even says “let’s get out of here and go to my place.”

How do you respond?

Well, DO NOT CHANGE YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE!!! (even though in your head, at least for the first few times, you’re ecstatic) In the 80’s they called it “play it cool.”

Why not start gleaming with ecstasy? Because girls do this to you all the time. If you start jumping up and down and smiling, she’s going to think you’re a tool. She’s going to think this never happens to you, i.e. you’re a loser.

Think: “how would Anthony Hopkins react?”

Hopkins would say, “aight let’s go” . . . with a slight smirk.

Absurdity Meet Absurdity

I’m actually not crazy. Seriously.

I just began watching the Jeffy Show. Wow! When I finish it, I’ll post a review. For now, it goes on my required viewing list.

On disc 1 “Jeffy” talks about being insane, but then laments that’s he’s not actually nuts; he’s just a poser. He describes how Tyler Durden told him “Jeffy, you’re not an insane maniac. You’re a poser insane maniac. You’re just dealing with the absurdity of existence by shoving absurdity back down existence’s throat.”

Let me repeat that last sentence “You’re just dealing with the absurdity of existence by shoving absurdity back down existence’s throat.”

I am a reactive lunatic, not a proactive lunatic. I am a poser.

This blog is just me launching globs of absurdity right back at the universe--machine gun style.

Plugging SargeNation.com

Let me give a small plug to SargeNation. The concept is good, but there’s not quite enough people there to make it work. Hopefully in a few months it’ll blowup.

SargeNation is a user driven site where people post up links to the latest articles, blog entries, notes, and other web stuff related to sarging. Others rate the links and the best stuff (in theory) floats to the top.

For those not “in the community,” “sarging” is the official term for going out and pickup up chicks. I kid you not; there is actually a term for that.

Exempli gratia: “Ala Moana has tons of girls, let’s go sarging.” Or “Last night at Pearl, my wingman and I had a ridiculously night of sarging. The next day, I woke up in some random girl's bed. When I got home, I had a dozen phone numbers in my pocket. Who the heck was Plenty?”

www.sargenation.com

Secret Blogs and Comments

Wooo hooo, I got my first comment yesterday--one other person reads this besides me! Shocking.

I got the comment from the one and only Kim Fassler. Yeah, the girl who’s blog I commented on a few days ago. I never thought in a million years she’d find it, much less the next day--she must have an army of googling monkeys working for her at the Honolulu Advertiser. Imagine what I’d do with an army of monkeys. I definitely would not send them to scour the internet for my name.

To be fair, I was going to post my entry on her comments, but decided to be greedy and keep it for myself. Sorry Kim.

Because I wrote this, she’s going to come back here, read this and think I’m nuts. But, as my good buddy in college would say, “Then she’ll know the truth.”

This feels different. Now, I’m no longer writing to the void of cyberspace, but instead to actual people. I'm not sure what to make of it. This reminds me of the time I had a discussion with one of my friends about “secret blogs.”

Her: You have a blog?
Me: Yup
Her: What is it?
Me: I can’t tell you.
Her: Why not?
Me: It’s a secret blog.
Her: Really? I have a secret blog too?
Me: Shadup
Her: Seriously.
Me: What do you write about?
Her: Like, I put my new year’s resolution in it. I write about my friends. I even wrote about Jan.
Me: What’s it called?
Her: I can’t tell you; it’s a secret blog.
Me: Isn’t having a secret blog awesome?
Her: Totally, it’s sort of like a diary, but there’s a kind of exhibitionist thing about it.
Me: Absolutely.
Me: I’m so gonna find your blog.
Her: I’m gonna find yours.
Me: Its soooo on.

Guitar Hero III: Rockstar in a Box

I think I’m addicted to Guitar Hero III. I played 16 songs last night. I can barely type use my left fingers today.

Guitar Hero is “Feel-Like-A-Rockstar-In-A-Box”. Now that’s nowhere as awesome as “Go-To-A-Club-And-Pimp-It-Like-A-Rockstar,” but here, you get to learn timing.


If you haven’t played any version of Guitar Hero, I strongly recommend going out and buying one. They just came out with a PC version so no need to fork over 400 bones for a PS3 plus $75 for the game. All you need is $75 for the PC version, complete with guitar.

Oh, and it'll prepare you for any upcoming Rockband party.

Same "Where" Wrong "When"

At first, I thought I could learn to understand women by talking to them and reading their blogs. I was wrong. First, girls only seem to tell me what they think, not what they feel--which gets me only 10% of the information. Second, girls (or should I say people) who write blogs are all crazy. Yes, I did say that.

In any case, I’m still on the perpetual reconnaissance mission to find dating blogs written by women under 40. If anyone finds any good ones feel free to send the links my way.

Admittedly, I “found” Kim Fassler’s blog for the sole reason of “wow, this girl’s kinda cute.”

I probably would have dismissed her “non-dating” blog, but for a very interesting entry titled “Single & out of college: Now what?”. The gist of the entry was “how does a single out of college 20-something meet someone?” She went though “bars,” “clubs,” “concerts,” “co-workers,” “bowling alleys,” and “the beach” only to put them all in the “no” category.

Well Kim, you’re looking in the right “where,” but the wrong “when.”

For bars and clubs, go early. You’re not going to find a gainfully employed “good boy” at Pipeline Café at 2:30 am on a Wednesday. But you may find a good boy at Indigo at 5:30 pm on a Friday who’s there for “pau hana” (after work) drinks.

I’ve had the best experiences meeting girls at 9:00 p.m. on a Saturday in an almost empty club. That same club becomes a near total skank-fest four hours later. Where do those good girls go you ask? They leave the club and go to sleep at 11:00 pm.

As for concerts, bowling alleys, and the beach, hrmm. I can’t help you there.

As for co-workers, don’t date co-workers, BUT do date their friends. Or better yet, make friends with your coworker’s friends and date the friends’ friends. That way if the mission goes south, you can eject without dire consequences.

Lastly, the best and tried and true place to meet “someone” is a house party. Fanagle a solid introduction (if it’s a house party you will know someone will know that special someone), drop your A-Game, and watch the dating blog turn into a relationship blog.

Facebook Not Stalking

It’s not Facebook-stalking if she requested me as a friend. It’s also not Facebook-stalking if I look at my "friend's" profile. And that's what Urban Dictionary should say.

I just found out one of my ex’s is engaged. Facebook relationship status: "engaged". I’m not even sure what to make of that. It did kinda hit me like a brick though. I guess everyone goes through the “woah-my-ex-is-getting-married" shock.

So she’s not technically my first ex to get engaged. I don’t really count the first one though—somehow, I got twisted into helping her get that annulled.

Well, good for her. All in all, her and I are still good. I see her every once I a while, we talk, and I don’t end up with a drink in the face—is there anything more to life?

Gender Ratio In Hawaii Sucks: Blame the White Dudes

There are too many white guys in Hawaii.

I always wondered “where are all the white girls?” Clubs always have tons of white guys, but no white girls. Why? Because there aren’t many.

Put simply, if you think there are too many guys in the club, blame the white guys.

In the 15 - 40 year old range, there are 119 white guys for every 100 white girls. Seriously, 119, that’s crazy. And get this: for 20 year olds, there are 162 white guys for every 100 white girls. 162!!!! That’s just astounding. If you’re a white guy between the ages of 19 and 23, good luck finding a white girl because that ratio is 148!! Three white dudes, meet two white girls, go have fun.

The data has “white” as “white or partially white” and Asian as “Asian or partially Asian”

Meanwhile, Asians are more or less even.

Take out the excess in white guys (i.e. make the white people ratio 100 males : 100 females) and the total ratio of men to women in Hawaii falls below 100: this is demonstrated by the turquoise line.

Although the Black ratio is as crazy as 200:100 at some ages, it doesn't make much difference because there are so few Blacks in Hawaii.

Here's the data without Black, Native American, and Pacific Islander (which includes Hawaiians).


Now that I look at this data more, I realize the high amount 18 -25 year old white men, and men in Hawaii in general, is probably related to the military.

I also don't know how many half Asian-half white people (hapa) are counted here, but I would guess that the Hawaii born hapa kids balance each other out. It doesn't make sense to say that all the guys are hapa, but the girls aren't.

I really believe that a whole ton of white dudes just decided to move to Hawaii, but white girls don't. Again, this is probably related to the military.

Here’s the key to the above chart:
(This was from 2006 census data estimates.)

*“White” means “White Alone or in Combination”
*“Asian” means “Asian Alone or in Combination”
*“If Even White” means if there were an even number of White males and White females, this is what the gender ratio would look like for all races. In other words, kick out the excess white guys and this is what Hawaii would look like.
*“All Races” all races in the census include White, Asian, Black, Native American, and Pacific Islander (which includes Hawaiians)

download my excel work file

If Pimp Was A Drug, I’d Sell It By The Gram

I saw some of my “cool” high school classmates at the club last night and realized something:

The bar is always changing. Competition increases, skills increase, and so must game. What worked two, five, ten, fifteen years ago doesn’t work today. Elevate or die.

What worked in high school doesn’t work 10 years later. Ever notice that the “cool guys” back in high school now fit into two categories? (1) guys who are still cool and get laid more than before and (2) guys who are now lame, but think they’re still cool and only go home with their right hand.

Ever notice how the “still cool guys” dress better than they did before, are actually nice to everyone, and are much more out going. Put simply, they have evolved. Meanwhile the “no longer cool guys” dress the same, are still dicks, and hang out at the edge of the bar starring at the girls on the dance floor--they haven’t changed a bit.

The “no longer cool guys’” game is so deeply ingrained into their psyche that they cannot comprehend that what worked in high school, no longer works today. They cannot elevate. They think that simply being there is enough to get chicks. The bar has risen above them. Their primary DHV of being cool has evaporated with time. These are the same people who put down pickup. All they can say is “remember in high school?”

Recognize that the top dog today must work to remain at the apex. The unforgiving razor thin edge of competition only sees the present.

I promise to always evolve, to always grow, and to always accept I must always change.

Japanese Girls, Japanese Guys

Ever notice that whenever a hot Japanese girl (from Japan) is with a Japanese guy, that guy is always dressed really outrageously? The guy always has some crazy printed shirt, tight worn jeans in unique color, wild-big-dyed hair, monster sunglasses, and accessories on his accessories. And the hotter the girl, the more peacocked the guy.

Gender Ratio in Honolulu

I managed to find data on Honolulu. Short story is that there are still more men than women, but it isn't as uneven as my previous charts depict.

The data had the ages grouped by 5 year increments. 0-4, 5-9, 10-14, 15-19, etc. Since i didn't know how to graph groups of ages, I just averaged the ages. Therefore 20-24 became "22" and 35-39 became "37".

(for full size, click the chart).

Interesting how the big peak is still around the 20-24 age level. I'm not sure what to make of this. Maybe boys are more likely to come home from college? Or less likely to go to college. I really don't know. In any case, the peak didn't push itself across time as I previously assumed.

Here's a little more information on the data: I got it from the Hawaii government site here and here is the direct file. The data is for Honolulu county (Oahu) for the date of July 1, 2006. The data was released on August 9, 2007.

Gender Ratio in Hawaii

I’ve always been fascinated with why Hawaii clubs have so many guys and so little girls. I often find myself surrounded my guys--why is that? At first, I thought that it was just my perception because I could never find hard data to support my theory.


Then, about a year ago, National Geographic published a chart showing where all the single males and females lived and it basically showed that west coast had more single males and the east coast had more single females. As I suspected, Hawaii fell into the west coast category.


Recently though, after months of searching, I found the 2000 U.S. Census data on Hawaii broken down by gender and age (here). Finally!

This is a chart that I made based upon the 2000 data.

That big ass peak over 21 year olds has a whopping 131 males to each female (9,647 males: 7,368 females). Ouch. You'd better elevate your game boys.

Here's two more charts of the actual numbers. (click on the charts to see them full size)




I suspect that the big peaks over 19 - 25 are related to the military.

Here's the raw data from the 2000 Census of Males and Females

Age -Male - Female:
00 - 7,922 - 7,542
01 - 8,029 - 7,542
02 - 7,928 - 7,449
03 - 7,916 - 7,579
04 - 8,315 - 7,941
05 - 8,384 - 7,899
06 - 8,655 - 8,258
07 - 8,741 - 8,188
08 - 8,951 - 8,176
09 - 9,008 - 8,720
10 - 8,937 - 8,530
11 - 8,543 - 7,968
12 - 8,519 - 8,075
13 - 8,381 - 7,908
14 - 8,360 - 7,885
15 - 8,399 - 7,705
16 - 8,610 - 8,075
17 - 8,627 - 8,102
18 - 7,906 - 7,477
19 - 8,658 - 7,443
20 - 9,252 - 7,705
21 - 9,647 - 7,368
22 - 9,164 - 7,489
23 - 8,921 - 7,583
24 - 8,725 - 7,555
25 - 8,861 - 7,680
26 - 8,325 - 7,553
27 - 8,624 - 7,808
28 - 8,851 - 8,175
29 - 9,355 - 8,768
30 - 9,657 - 8,912
31 - 8,483 - 8,247
32 - 8,667 - 8,390

source

How to Rotate the Samsung SyncMaster 245BW 24” LCD

This post is about how to “mod” your Samsung SyncMaster 245BW 24" LCD Monitor so you can rotate, twist, and turn it from landscape to portrait mode. In other words, how to make it go from horizontal to vertical.

This blog is random on top of random.

Your Samsung SyncMaster 245BW 24" LCD Monitor looks like this:

But you want it to look like this:

I am not responsible if you break your monitor following these directions.

Step 1: Put the monitor face down.Step 2: Remove the four screws from the back of the monitor.
Step 3: Remove the stand from the monitor.

Step 4: Turn the stand around and remove the one screw.

Here's a close up view of the screw:

This is what it should look like after you remove the screw:
Step 5: Put the stand back on the monitor and screw the four screws back in. Put the cords to the right.

Step 6: rotate monitor

I make no guarantee that your monitor is now stable. Heck, I'm scared to leave mine vertical, but that's all up to you. If you come back home with your monitor on the ground, don't blame me. Samsung didn't give us this option for a reason.

You also probably need to view your video card options on how to rotate your display, but I'm sure you're smart enough to figure that out.

Go buy it from Amazon now.

The Easiest Club Opener Ever

I’ve been going through my old forum posts to see how I’ve developed. This one stuck out to me as still being relevant and one I still use today.

If you don't have the balls to walk up to a girl in a club and say something, this opener is for you.

Situation: your friends are standing outside a club debating whether to go in or check out another club. The real issue is: “how bumping is the club?” You know that it’s dead. The bouncers though, say it’s packed.

Suddenly, two girls walk out.

Three second rule. Walk up to them and ask, “how is it inside?” They won’t see it as a line because you truly want to know if it’s good. The question is so deeply rooted no one will question your motives. Build on that question, ask them specifics, ask them point blank “should my friends go in?” Then let them walk away. (If it's going really good, don't actually let them walk away, duh!)

Do this to three or four sets of girls and you’ll have a good idea of what the club looks like inside.

More importantly, I absolutely guarantee that you will see most (if not all) of those girls in the club later. Since you’ve already opened them, go back and talk to them some more. You can reopen with “hey wasup, yeah it was really ________. Thanks. We walked in, . . . . . then went to . . . . ”

And then they’re reopened. Transition, take them home, rinse and repeat.

[notes: obviously, don’t use this at a club where you can see inside. I can't believe I just wrote that.]

A Letter

Dear my ex-girlfriends, my current girlfriend, and my future ex-girlfriends, and all other women of this world,

I congratulate you on finding my blog. I, no doubt, have not assisted in your accomplishment.

What is this blog about? My thoughts on life, my adventures on learning about pickup, and how I’m trying to become a better person. “Pickup and being a better person?” you ask. How is that possible?

Well, pickup is not actually about going to a club, talking a girl, being smooth and taking her home. No, not really. Pickup is a tool on how men can improve themselves. Pickup is just an avenue of how men can fix their own shortcomings. It teaches how a shy and soft-spoken guy can learn to speak up for himself, how he can become stronger, healthier, and a better leader. Pickup allows (or should I say “forces”) a man to explore new experiences, see new sights, and step outside his comfort zone. It gives him the paddle to smack the pathetic out of his system.

Have you ever seen a guy who’s a really great person except . . . a few things? Say he over reacts to adversity or he doesn’t handle leadership well or he clinches up when he’s talking to a girl or he lets people step all over him or he’s always complaining and is a drag to be around. Pickup can fix that. And he doesn’t need to become that creepy guy in the club either. He can better himself without sacrificing the good things about him.

And this is what my blog is about: me going through that adventure--me learning how to identify my shortcomings and fixing them. I’ll probably never finish this quest, but no matter because every day I’ll improve--and that’s what really counts.

Love,

Me

Judging People

I’m not sure if I don’t judge people, I’m just really accepting of people, or I simply have a high threshold for extreme personalities.

Another weekend, another round of events. Sometimes, I wish I could spend a weekend entirely at home doing nothing but yard and housework. Or watch 20 movies in a weekend--that would be great.

Another weekend, and a great house party hosted by one of my good friends. She does have awesome parties and I do my best to skip out on everything else just so I can make it. Well, this time it was a masquerade party. No surprise, I find myself a bright red mask and pimp it hard. I pull out a red skinny tie and rock it to match my mask.

I find myself dressing to stand out instead of dressing to fit in. I aspire to always be the best dressed person in the room. Peacock theory I guess.

As with many parties I happen to be at, someone always causes a scene. This time, it was a girl in a rather thin translucent dress. Short story: was she wearing underwear? Now honestly, I didn’t care. After seeing girls get drunk, jump into a pool, and run around with nothing but dripping wet white clothes and then nothing at all, the idea of a girl going commando is curious at best.

No surprise, she gathered lots of attention from the other guys.

Naturally, she also gathered lots of “hate” from the other girls. “Seriously, she’s not wearing any underwear!!” and “when she stood by the window you could totally see EVERYTHING!!” they said. “who would wear something like that?” “what a slut!”

To say the honest truth, I looked once and couldn’t tell if she wore a small thong or nothing at all. It didn’t matter to me.

What interested me was how I (internally) didn’t judge her. A few months ago I read about how I shouldn’t judge other people. I don’t even know what judging someone really means; I just took it as don’t pass judgment on people or make assumptions about people based upon a few things--so I don’t, and I don’t even know why.

I think it is something like, if people see that if I don’t judge others, they will also see that I won’t judge them, and that leads to people thinking I’m a better person . I’m doing an awful job of explaining something I don’t understand.

So here I am. I just accept that someone might have been showing off her goods a fully lit party, and I just accept that. I didn’t make presumptions on what type of person she is, what she’s like, or her personality.

How to Get Your Ex Back

I got the “I’m sorry I broke up with you” call from the ex recently. Wait, hold up, let me explain something first: I’ve never broken up with a girl. Never. I like to think of it as Vincent Chase-esq, but it’s really not. I’m just not the kind of guy who breaks up with girls, and no I don’t sabotage the relationship so they break up with me--I just always get dumped.

As with any break up, I was sad. But, looking back, her dumping my ass was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. I considered it my wake up call. My wake up call to life, wake up to being social, and wake up to improve my life.

My life is definitely better because she broke up with me.

Without being thrust into the single scene, I never would have discovered pickup or (as they call it) “the seduction community”. Gawd I hate that phrase. As Neil Strauss describes it, pickup not about going to the club, talking to girls, and taking them home. Pickup is just a tool to improve all aspects of one’s life. I’m glad I learned about it. I learned about how to be more social, how to lead, how to make decisions, and how to be a person every looks up to.

So back to my ex: as with many guys who get into pickup after being dumped, my goal was “how do I get my ex back?” I learned that I needed to improve myself. I needed to take a hard look into my soul, see why she left, and fix those things. I read tons of books, viewed every seminar video I could get my hands on, partied like a rock star, wore out my ipod playing audio files, and pushed myself outside my comfort zone.

More importantly, I read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. In that book, there’s a section on the types of people. Greene explained my ex perfectly. I went point by point and instantly realized why she left. Over the next year, I worked on those points. I constantly told myself “I would have done this, so I must do the opposite now.” I got so focused with growing into a better person that I lost track of what inspired my change.

My goal changed from “getting her back” to “become a better person”.

I even saw her a few times and I didn’t even realize she WAS my inspiration. But yet, I knew she noticed my change. I didn’t care whether I got her back--I moved on.

Then she calls. Tells me she’s sorry. Tells me she made a mistake. And all I did was listen. I thought about the other time my other ex called and said she was sorry she broke up with me . . . or was it sorry for HOW she broke up with me, and the other-other time the other-other ex called and said she wanted to get back together. It was all too familiar.

And that’s how life works: the best way to get your ex back is to cure your oneitus.

Watching an RSD Clinic at the W

Saturday night, we’re out at the W, chilling and doing the club thing.

I walk around and lo and behold I see Owen Cook aka “Tyler Durden”. Who is Tyler Durden you ask? Well, now that’s a good question. Tyler is a co-founder and (seemingly) the front-man for Real Social Dynamics, a date coaching company. As the website says, “RSD specializes in dating advice, image consultation, public representation, and integrating clients into social scenes.” In other words, RSD teaches guys how to pick up girls. He was a “character in Neil Strauss’ book The Game, but he has since then reinvented himself from the ass raping portrayal he received in the bestseller. But you already know that.

Tyler is quite unmistakable. He’s a big guy with Doc Brown (Back to the Future) hair. Check out his pictures at on his blog.

Every time I see Tyler out and about (which is quite often), I always wonder “is he running a clinic?” I’m curious to see what $2000 gets the wannabe pickup artist. Sure I can the descriptions and reviews online, but nothing illustrates a program than seeing it upfront and personal.

With Tyler was his ever present side-kick. Now, I don’t know this guy’s name (although I was introduced to him once) and he looks nothing like Tyler nor does he act like Tyler nor does he have quite the presence as Mr. Durden. We’ll call him Mini-T. Mini-T seems like a completely normal guy with an impeccable fashion sense. I wish I had half his style.

Anyway, back to the clinic. Their one student was a tall white dude with hair just like Tyler’s but curly. Let’s call him Clone-T.

Now here’s the part where you guys realize I’m crazy. So my friend and I walk up near Tyler and Clone-T to see exactly what $2000 and two days of seminar and “field training” gets a regular schmo.

We stand their trying not to look directly at Tyler, Mini-T or Clone-T, but trying to hear what’s going on. We joke around like, OMG we can’t let off like we know who he is, so we gotta act like chodes. We lift up our drinks, bend our elbows, and start protecting ourselves with our plastic cups. I then grab my drink with both hands.

Side note: its widely agreed that holding your drink near your waist/hips is more alpha and less pathetic than bending your elbow and protecting yourself with your drink. I’m not sure if I agree with this, but I’ve adopted it; so much that I now—without thought—carry my drink at my waist.

We’re in our undercover afc/chode mode and laughing hysterically at us trying to be afc/chode. Why this was funny is beyond my comprehension, but I was having a good time.

So we’re standing nearby and I see Clone-T walk up to one of my friends standing in the restroom line.

At the time I couldn’t hear them, but this is how she said the conversation went:

[she’s holding out her phone, typing something and ignoring everyone]

Clone-T: Why don’t I give you my number to put into your phone?

Her: psss [looks at him, gives him a “you’re weird face” and looks back at her phone.]

Clone-T: “I’m here with my friends and they’re showing me all the good Hawaii clubs.”

Her: [continues to ignore him]

Clone-T: “My name is Pierre. I’m from France, what’s your name?”

Her: Janet (her “club name”)

And then he bails out.

I gotta give him credit, he hung in there.

She though, thought he was weird and was not impressed by his “pickup” at all. Now I’m not sure if she said that or she really meant it, but she didn’t look happy to have the guy talking to her. I debrief her on everything pickup and it was enlightening conversation about men, women, and talking to girls at clubs—most of which she’d probably get really mad if I wrote here.

Through out the night, I saw Clone-T get shot down over and over again. I never once saw him talk to the same girl for more than 5 minutes. To be fair, I only periodically glanced in his direction so it is possible he did talk to multiple girls for extended time and walked out with a fist full of numbers or a girl on each arm, but all I saw was the multiple girls part.

Now to also be fair, I don’t know what Clone-T was like before the seminar. Pickup to me is about how a guy can improve himself. Becoming the greatest pickup artist in the world is not an admirable feat in my book; improving oneself and become a better and stronger person is how I keep score. If Clone-T was a quiet unstyled dork and RSD transformed him into an outgoing (which he clearly was) guy who had no fear of approaching any girl in the club, then color me impressed. If RSD made him try new things he'd never do on his own, then wow. If he needed to pay $2000 to make someone push him far outside his comfort zone, then that may be worthwhile.

Three Nights of Eating Out - Imma Gettin' Fattt

Another week; another weekend.

Friday: PF Chang's. I’ve heard mixed reports on PF Chang’s food. Sufficient to say it IS Americanized Chinese food. Not saying that it isn’t extremely enjoyable, but if you’re used to traditional Chinese food, stay away. Personally, in terms of Americanized Chinese food, I think Little Village in Chinatown is the best in Honolulu.

Saturday: Tokkuri-Tei. Another excellent restaurant with izakaya-style food (many dishes of small plates). After that, we went to the W and saw some pickup guys running a clinic. Click here for more details.

Sunday: Uncle Bo’s. I'm too stuffed to write about it. Let’s just say that I recommend this place and you’d better make reservations.

One more totally random thing. My sister recently got a new-to-her car and I just about spent my entire Sunday helping her clean, waxing, and making it look pretty. I cannot emphasize the importance of using Meguiar's Clay Kit. If you’ve ever washed your car, waxed it, and then found the surface to be far from perfectly smooth, you need clay bar. Clay bar is used between washing and waxing. It removes the small nearly microscopic bumps on a car’s paint. It also removes the tiny rust spots which can grow to major rust spots. Put simply, using the clay bar can literally make your paint feel brand new.

Cream Puffs

One of my friends brings Beard Papa’s (cream puffs) to every party. Regardless of the occasion, the location, or who will be there, Beard Papa’s is his contribution. Now, I don’t want to say that cream puffs are not an ideal contribution, because they are quite awesome and perfect for any occasion. (If you haven’t had one, you’re missing out.) I want to simply say that he brings them EVERY time.

Well, it just so happens that New Years eve is also my buddy’s birthday. Being the generous guy he is, he offers his sweet Hawaii Kai house--complete with pool and panoramic views of the city—for us to celebrate the new year.

Now the dilemma: what to do for his “birthday”?

Answer: Everyone bring Beard Papa cream puffs.

The Emotional Commitment Decision Leap

When I decide to do something, I almost never look back. I don’t regret my decisions, no matter how stupid they look today. Problem is that it often takes me a while to actually make that decision.

I’ve been shopping for an HDTV for the past two years.

Today, I made the decision to buy a new TV: a Sharp, HDTV, 52 inches, LCD, 1080p, blah blah blah. I had all the discounts lined up. I was going to make Best Buy honor their online price ($300 cheaper than the store sticker) and sign up for DirecTV (another $300 off) (more HD stations and cheaper than cable or Dish Network). And I was going to use my Christmas Best Buy gift cards.

I got all my ducks lined up including borrowing a van to transport my giant technology beast home.

At that moment I made the decision to buy the TV--the emotional commitment and decision to do something. I took the leap, no looking back, no regretting if prices fall next month, no stressing if the new OLED or Laser TV’s might come out next year. I made the decision.

BB: “Hi, Best Buy TV’s, how can I help you?”

Me: “I would like to buy the Sharp blah blah TV. And can you guys honor your online price?

BB: “Sure”

Me: “And can I combine that with the DirecTV offer?”

BB: “no”

Me: “what? . . . . . .

Well, it just so happens that those two offers are not combinable.

The point is that my emotional state is now all messed up. I made the decision and now I can’t follow through. I pictured the big TV in my home up against the wall looking quite pretty..

Up until today, I’ve never really thought about making the decision and then being forced to go back on it. I practically considered buying the TV for $300 more than I planned because I already made the decision.

I’m not saying emotional commitment decisions for me are bad, just that I need to learn to recognized them, use them, and when to break them if the circumstance change.

Now I want a big TV more than ever.

New Year's Resolution (Just One)

Just about every blog has new year's resolutions. Here’s mine: find focus in my life. I’m not exactly sure what that means much less how I’m going to do it, but that’s my resolution.

I resolve to focus more on things in my life, focus on getting things done, focus on doing everything to be the best of my ability. Lately I’ve been in half ass mode; you know, doing things to get them done and not to make them perfect. I was really focused 6 months ago, something dropped off. I’m not sure what, but it did, and I can feel it.