How to Get Your Ex Back

I got the “I’m sorry I broke up with you” call from the ex recently. Wait, hold up, let me explain something first: I’ve never broken up with a girl. Never. I like to think of it as Vincent Chase-esq, but it’s really not. I’m just not the kind of guy who breaks up with girls, and no I don’t sabotage the relationship so they break up with me--I just always get dumped.

As with any break up, I was sad. But, looking back, her dumping my ass was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. I considered it my wake up call. My wake up call to life, wake up to being social, and wake up to improve my life.

My life is definitely better because she broke up with me.

Without being thrust into the single scene, I never would have discovered pickup or (as they call it) “the seduction community”. Gawd I hate that phrase. As Neil Strauss describes it, pickup not about going to the club, talking to girls, and taking them home. Pickup is just a tool to improve all aspects of one’s life. I’m glad I learned about it. I learned about how to be more social, how to lead, how to make decisions, and how to be a person every looks up to.

So back to my ex: as with many guys who get into pickup after being dumped, my goal was “how do I get my ex back?” I learned that I needed to improve myself. I needed to take a hard look into my soul, see why she left, and fix those things. I read tons of books, viewed every seminar video I could get my hands on, partied like a rock star, wore out my ipod playing audio files, and pushed myself outside my comfort zone.

More importantly, I read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. In that book, there’s a section on the types of people. Greene explained my ex perfectly. I went point by point and instantly realized why she left. Over the next year, I worked on those points. I constantly told myself “I would have done this, so I must do the opposite now.” I got so focused with growing into a better person that I lost track of what inspired my change.

My goal changed from “getting her back” to “become a better person”.

I even saw her a few times and I didn’t even realize she WAS my inspiration. But yet, I knew she noticed my change. I didn’t care whether I got her back--I moved on.

Then she calls. Tells me she’s sorry. Tells me she made a mistake. And all I did was listen. I thought about the other time my other ex called and said she was sorry she broke up with me . . . or was it sorry for HOW she broke up with me, and the other-other time the other-other ex called and said she wanted to get back together. It was all too familiar.

And that’s how life works: the best way to get your ex back is to cure your oneitus.