This is Super Offensive

Good grief this is offensive, but damn, it made me laugh really hard. Click on the picture so you can see it full size.

The Science of Kissing

Scientific American had a recent article titled "Affairs of the Lips: Why We Kiss". Interesting.

Confidence, Risk, and Certainty

Last night as I was driving home from the club, I got stopped in a sobriety/DUI checkpoint. Seeing that I don’t drink, it wasn’t a problem.


“Sir, where are you coming from?” said the officer is a vaguely familiar firm officer voice.

“The W (hotel/club).” I responded, in more smug tone than I should have given.

“Sir can you pull to the side please.”

I turned into a parking lot and waited for the next available cop to come up to my window.

As I sat in my car wondering if I actually would get to use a breathalyzer, I saw two cops handcuff a skinny Asian man. Not surprisingly, he looked quite anxious at his present situation. At that moment, I realized that I wasn’t worried at all—I was confident. At that moment, I had complete certainty that I would get out of this situation unscathed—I had never been more certain and more confident of anything in my life. If I had the opportunity to bet all my worldly belongings and knowledge on my successful DUI checkpoint passing, I would have.

Eventually a cute female cop came up to my window.

“Good evening constable, how are you?” I said even before she could ask for my “license and registration.”

Apparently, her lexicon did not include “constable” and she ignored my question.

“License and registration. Sir, where are you coming from?”

“The W” I said.

“How much have you had to drink?” she asked.

“None at all.” I said as I looked her straight in the eye. She looked back at me and I stared at her. She began asking me other questions and I guess my sober confidence came through. I wonder if anyone could ever fake this level of confidence—even me.

“Have a nice night,” she said. And off I went.

I tried to think of a time when I was more confident or when my confidence was even close to this high. I thought that I was confident because I was certain, but realized certainly alone does not make confidence. I’ve been certain I had money in my bank account when I went to the ATM, but that certainly did not fuel my confidence.

I soon realized that my confidence was based upon both my certainty of the situation and the risk associated with the situation. DUI is realistically the worst thing that can happen. Yes, I could die from something else, but in terms of messing up my life, a DUI is really high on that scale. I’d probably lose my job. Also, because of my job my DUI would probably get into the newspaper. And my family would kick my ass. Big risk was there.

Thus, confidence requires both risk and certainly. Big risk and big certainty mean high confidence. Remove the risk and confidence disappears. Increase the risk, but keep certainty the same and confidence goes down.

After realizing how confidence worked, I thought: how can I create that same ridiculously high level of confidence without the same risk-certainty constraints?

I’ve thought about confidence being a house and the risk-certainty being the foundation. Lift the house off its foundation and channel in into my core and take it with me. Yes, I really don’t have the answer.

All I know is that I’ve been at a state of utter and complete 100% confidence and that’s a feeling everyone should experience.

There Is No Spoon

When I was about 8 years old, there were only two “cool” clothing stores in Hawaii: Town and Country Surf Designs and Hawaiian Island Creations. Now days, the equivalent would be Reuhl or Abercrombie & Fitch.

At the time, I was scared to go into those stores because I thought that I wasn’t cool enough to walk in. I was afraid one of the workers would look at me and “hey, you’re not cool enough to be here; get out!”

This crazy idea continued throughout my high school career. It manifested into things like I was scared to wear a cool pair of sunglasses I bought, I was scared to wear a Stussy hat someone gave to me, and I even totally dismiss taking French because I thought “only cool kids are allowed to take French.” I thought people would see me do these things and make fun of me.

Eventually I stopped caring. I told myself “I don’t care what the cool people thought of me; I’m going to do what I want to do.” I came to the realization that I didn’t care what they cool kids thought. So I walked into T and C and HIC without worrying about getting kicked out.

Later, I grew into the belief that “I don’t care what people think, but if they did, I know that NOW, I’m cool enough to be here.” And that helped me walk into the stores with confidence.

Now, I realized that all of this was just in my head--it never existed. As The Matrix put it “There is no spoon.” No “cool” kid, even if one existed, would ever say “you’re not cool enough.” No store employee would ever say “get out!” And most of all, there was no such thing as the cool barrier I needed to cross to be entitled to walk into the store.

Everything about being cool enough never existed. I was being held back by my own beliefs. The same beliefs that were imposed upon me by the same damn store that wanted to sell me clothes, which I actually wanted to buy, because they would give me better cool status, so I could be cool enough to actually wear them.

There is no spoon.

Money and Girls

Here’s my take on money and girls. It’s sort of inspired by Tyler’s Blueprint Decoded speech, but not really based upon it.

People have a tendency to attract others who think similarly. Similar people tend to congregate together and get along. Humans are designed to live and associate with people who are similar to them. It makes for a more harmonious society and reduces fighting.

Accordingly, money only matters as much as you think it matters. If a guy thinks money attracts girls, then he will find and attract girls who think the same way. The guy will only meet "money matters girls" which will in turn reinforce his belief that girls only want money. He’ll have a stronger belief that money attracts girls, which will attract more gold digging girls, and the cycle will build upon itself.

People also have a tendency to only see what supports their own beliefs. If something is incongruent with what they know, most people will simply ignore it or dismiss it as an anomaly. If a “money matters” guy meets a girl who is truly interested in him, not his money, he’ll push the girl away as being weird or not in touch with reality. He’ll only see what supports his ideas.

Unfortunately, our poor hypothetical man doesn’t actually have any money, but since all he knows and associates with are gold diggers, he’s better off playing WoW at home alone.

Conversely, guys who genuinely think money doesn’t matter will attract girls who are not after a guy with money. If a guy deep down believes that he can get any girl because he’s awesome--even though he’s broke as a post-- he will associate and attract girls who think the same way. He’ll attract open-minded girls who don’t need a man for his money, he’ll attract rich girls who have their own jobs or trust funds, and he’ll attract girls who need a man for things other than his wallet.

Project your own reality of the world and it will become true.

When Negative is G-O-O-D Good

I got my std results back today. No I didn’t write about it because I had something, I actually didn’t write about it because I put the code paper in my drawer and kept forgetting to bring it with me so I could “call in” between the hours of 9 and 10:30 am.

The thing that bugs me about the whole “testing” thing is that I thought I was supposed to be anonymous. While the AIDS/HIV testing seems to be, the other std testing is not.

Even when I called in, I had to give my callback date, the city I was born, and my mother’s first name. Now for me, I don’t really care, but I’m sort of concerned for really paranoid people—the type of actually need to get tested.

Oh well. I think I’ll just be happy with being clean and clear and move on.

. . . I guess she was right when she said “I don’t have any diseases.”

E-Mail Coaching

I find myself coaching (I actually call it “helping”) more and more people--not because I think I have any sort of skill, but more because people seem to gravitate to me. I honestly have no idea how this happens. It's certainly not because I don’t charge a dime; these people probably don’t even know that they could pay for better advice. In any case, my advice is probably worth what they've paid for.

So one guy I’m helping feels that his girl is moving away from him. He feels she’s losing interest. They also have long gaps of silence when they’re on the phone. Because I’m a lazy ass, I’m just going to plagiarize myself for this blog entry:

I’m getting the feeling you’re calling her too much. She’s probably feeling smothered. Give her space. Let her miss you. Tell her you’re going to be super busy with something for a week and then just have zero contact with her.

The bottom line is don’t be afraid to lose her: abundance mentality. There are plenty of girls out there. People are attracted to those who have options. Girls who don’t have options act needy, and needy is not attractive. Abundance mentality.


If you call her everyday, she’s going to get used to your calls. Don’t let her get to that point. Let her call you. Going a day without talking to her might be hard, but its something you need to do.

Keep your telephone conversations less than ten minutes. That way you’ll end on a high note instead of ending the call because you have nothing else left to say.

Always start off the call with something really cool you did today. If you didn’t do something cool, go out and do something. Think of something you did and make it cool. Always have something interesting to say.

Never start off with “what did you do?” By asking her first, you’re taking value, instead you want to give value—by showing that you’re a busy person who does lots of exciting things.

Tell her stories about when you were little. I have this funny story about how when I was little, I was scared that if I flushed and the toilet water all went down when I was still in the bathroom, I’d get sucked in. Silly huh? So I’d always wash my hands, flush, and then run out. To this day, I’m still a little scared to be in the bathroom when the toilet flushes.

Good luck

Emotion Junkie

I’ve become and emotion-junkie. I like being right. I hate being wrong. I love winning, but more so, I love the feeling that I’m about to win.

There’s nothing better than thinking loss is imminent and then magically finding that super magic bullet that will help me win the day. And that’s my job: I take really bad situations and research and work them to find a solution. Every so often I find one that’s a total loser, I work at it, nearly give up, and like a little speck of gold in the river, a solution arises. And that solution grows and grows and like magic beans, I soon realize I have a monster winner.

I guess that’s why I like pickup. I love the feeling of turning a losing situation into a slam-dunk winner. I like being the underdog. I like researching things. I like analyzing things. And most of all, I like winning.

Pickup For Girls: The Rules

I just finished reading All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. “All The Rules” is a New York Times best seller about “the rules” a girl must follow to marry the man of her dreams; sounds like a female version of The Game to me.

What’s remarkable is not the rules themselves, but that most of the rules are quite similar to pickup: be busy, abundance mentality, have a life, abundance mentality, don’t be pathetic, abundance mentality, dress well, abundance mentality, be healthy, abundance mentality, be positive, abundance mentality, be someone people like to be around . . .you get the idea.

The only major difference is that a girl should not call a guy or make the first contact. Why? Because HE needs to feel a sense of challenge and accomplishment. If a girl is too easy, he’ll grow board of her and move on. In fact she shouldn’t even return his voice mails. Serious.

Without going into all the details of The Rules, I’m just going to give it my hearty recommendation. It may be a little dated, but the core ideas are excellent. I think even men should read it.

If I met a girl who followed The Rules, she would certainly drive me nuts—in a good way.

P.S. Now if a girl says “is that line from The Game?” Another response can be “Is that from The Rules?”

Things People Think Are Cool, but Really Aren’t, According to Me

1. Your Bluetooth earpiece is not an accessory. While, we’re at it, neither is a cell phone.

2. White iPod earphones make people look like sheep. Be different, buy better earphones, stop telling the world you can’t tell the difference between 64 bitrate mp3 and vinyl. Make sure the replacements are not white.

3. Khaki (colored) or white pants and black shoes. No.

4. Girls with big ass sunglasses that cover their face. Ever see a cute girl with huge glasses take them off—and then she’s not so cute? Yeah.

5. Patek Philippe is cool, Tag is so played out.

6. Lexus is cool, Infinity is so played out

7. Sharp LCDs are better than Sony LCDs. Hahahahaha

It’s All About His Personality

I overheard two women talking about relationships today.

Girl1: . . . he was always there, he picked me up, he brought me stuff, he answered when I called him, he always had good advice . .

Girl2: Yeah, at first I wasn’t attracted to him at all, but then his personality did it for me.

Girl1: yeah, it’s all about his personality.

I turned around and thought wow these are two cute girls. Oh course the guy was into you. He wanted you the whole time.

And then I thought about all my female platonic friends and realized I either “would” or “wouldn’t” and the test was entirely dependent upon “do I think she’s hot?” Yup, that’s the sole determining factor on whether I’d hook up with one of my platonic friends. I may be an asshole, but that’s how most men feel.

While many women can become attracted to a guy they’re not physically attracted to, most men just can’t.

I guess men are pigs.